March 9, 2010

Cardiology Update and Thoughts

Yesteryday, Monday, March 8th was Alexa's first cardiology appointment since her surgery.  She was pretty nervous about seeing people in scrubs again but my holding her helped releive some of her anxiety.  Dr. P was pretty sad she kept giving him dirty looks and asked when she would begin to love him, I said at least till her visible scars and bruises wore off. 

Doc said she looks great, saw the echo notes and said she had a great repair! We talked a bit about the pacemaker, how we would go about monitoring it.  They said I would be getting some equipment from Medtronics the maker of her pacer.  He checked it and it is also working great, battery life estimated at 3 years although he thinks it should last longer. 

I felt pretty reserved at this visit.  I am normally much more smiley and outgoing but I just feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I know I should not feel this way.  I am so happy, grateful and relieved surgery went well and it is over and we're home but I just can't relax yet.  I want to breathe easy again, I want to forget and just enjoy our lives again but it's hard to let go.  I know it has not even been a week yet since we've been home so I'm sure it will take more time.  I just barely got my mojo back to clean my house again yesterday as I was completely exhausted the first few days we got home and all I wanted to do was nap, although I didn't.  Sleep was still all I thought of while awake. 

I was also so very happy to go back to my meeting on Sunday (church).  I could relate to words written in Psalms 73:28 ~ "But as for me, the drawing near to God is good for me.  In the Sovereign Lord Jehovah I placed my refuge, To declare all of your works."  I just felt like I really needed to be close to God again be spiritually nourished so being back made my heart rejoice.  We also got a really warm welcome from all the friends.  Per doctors orders, I will not be taking Alexa out yet until a few more weeks, giving her sometime to recover and build her immune system back up.  But looking forward to the day we can all go out together as a family with no ... err few worries. 

Alexa is doing so good, her scar is healing nicely.  I can see how normal she looks to be people who just observe from afar.  Just like any other little precious toddler, walking, playing and talking up a storm but if you lift her shirt you can see the truth behind the veil, you can see the battle she faced for her life - there is no denying it.  It is real and she is my hero.

   Our warrior princess ~ still smiling! 


  1. Wow the scar does look really good. :)

  2. She looks GREAT! (Love the big smile!) She is so brave and she knows it ;)

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  4. Michelle,

    She looks terrific! And she is such a beauty. Give yourself time. You've all been through a LOT. It isn't easy to recover.

    Take care~
    Lisa @ All That and a Box of Rocks
    Eli's mom (CHD/Autism)

  5. Michelle,
    I can totally relate to your feeling of unease since returning home. It is hard. Here we are almost two months post op and I have yet to feel at ease. Of course it doesn't help when you have been climbing mountains since you came home.

    It will take time and once you get settled into your new routine you will start feeling better about things.

    Alexa looks great!

    Stef, Ryan, Wyatt and Logan

  6. Hi Michelle,

    Your daughter is adorable! And so super brave. Her scar looks wonderful. I, too, can relate to those feelings of unease and "waiting for the other shoe to drop" Hugs. Take it day by day and let that big beautiful smile on Alexa's face help ease your anxiety. :)

    Jen & Ava

  7. She is so precious. Glad she's doing well...hang in there. Time seems to heal those anxieties and fears, even though they come creeping in from time to time. Just enjoy that sweet girl.

  8. Me alegro de ver a Alexa de pie y con esa cara de felicidad. Deseo que Jehová los siga sustentando en el camino a la recuperación de vuestra niña. Un abrazo

  9. What a precious girl!!

    All the best little one!!

    Joana from Portugal!

  10. Uf mi niña vaya cicatriz.Besos y me alegro que este bien.

  11. Hi Michelle-

    My name is Breeanna (Averi's mom) and I have been following your blog since you commented on mine. I am sorry I haven't written back sooner. Your daughters chest looks very similar to my daughters. I am going to teach Averi to be proud of her scars! I am glad the surgery went well and you are home now. That is a relief! Keep in touch.



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