Babymooniversary!

Okay, so this is me about ready to pop!  My 4th pregnancy and 37 weeks today! According to Babycenter - that is considered full term!  My actual due date is May 13th.  My three previous pregnancies I delivered at about 39 weeks.  I've been fortunate I haven't had to go past my due date.  I'm hoping this baby is about the same, if  he wants to come at 38 weeks that will be okay by me, just hope he doesn't decide to be the first to go past my due date.  I am already feeling ever so tired, swollen, achy and heavy and looking forward to feeling 'light' once again.  The pregnancy has gone by pretty fast, which I guess is normal when you have 3 other kids your looking after.  We've had two great baby shower's and I just recently finished the nursery that Alexa and this new little one will be sharing. I am also almost done packing our hospital bag.  

On another note, yesterday, April 21, was our: 

10 YEAR Wedding Anniversary! 

We cannot believe how fast time has gone by.  I remember when I was getting married I didn't comprehend how you could love the person you were marrying anymore than you did on that day {as you were obviously so in love!} but now I clearly understand it.  That is just the beginning and as time passes and you make new memories, you have children, you share in each other's lives, you see the other persons love in action, you share good times and bad times, you just fall more and more in love with that person everyday.  That is how I feel about my hubby.  I have seen him become a wonderful husband, father and even better person.  I am proud to be his wife.  He is what a true man should be.  And I am ever grateful and thankful to have him in my life, now and forever.

Okay, so after making myself cry ... sniff ...  last year we had said we would be doing something special for our ten year anniversary because we had never left our kids to go anywhere in 10 years {except hospital stays}!  In the last year, our older kids have had a couple impromptu sleep overs at cousins or grandmas house but we have always still had Alexa, hence we never did any going out.  We had agreed for our ten year anniversary and now that Alexa could communicate her needs well and doing well health wise, it was time for us to ~  GASP! ~  have a vacation by ourselves!  But as you remember in the beginning of this blog post - we are having a baby like in 2 weeks, lol!  At that time, we didn't realize this would be the case.  I can hardly walk anymore, I mostly waddle, I am so swollen I can hardly bend, I almost fell over like light post the other day and I can't even celebrate with a nice glass of wine or margarita! I sound like no fun but thankfully my hubby is still willing to take me on a 'babymooniversary'! Baby Moon's are all the rage for first time parents wanting one last hurrah before baby comes, which is what were trying to do {except with 3 kids at home} and a 10 year anniversary celebration.

So we rented ourselves a nice hotel suite!  I am so looking forward to just being in the pool {floating} so I can't feel my weight lol! and just resting by the pool, some quiet romantic dinners, uninterrupted conversation with my love, sleeping in and well ... maybe even getting this labor party started.  =)

Ramblings On Turning 35 and Being Pregnant with Baby #4

[In this pic ~ four months pregnant with fourth baby]

I'm so tired but I can't sleep.  My hips and back ache.  Every time I go to the store I end up really sore, I think it's a combination of all the walking, pushing the cart, lifting Alexa and bags and loading and unloading car that really does my body in.  The past two weeks have been hard because the kids have been sick.  First Yasmin, then Caleb, then Yasmin again and then Alexa.  We've had many sleepless nights and yet I know it's only preparation for the many sleepless nights to come. 

As I lay in my bed tonight I couldn't help but think about me turning 35 today {as you read this now yesterday}.  I don't celebrate birthdays, however this does not mean that I am not grateful to be alive another year and that I do not reflect or ponder on my life so far and what the future may bring.  I was totally okay with turning 30, I thought it was great! I'm also okay with 35 but since I'm pregnant, I have to admit I feel a little old. 

I had my first baby at 25 so I can't believe almost 10 years later {my son is 9} here I am, starting all over again.  I/we never planned on having four children.  I never thought **I** would have four children.  The ironic thing is that both hubby and I come from a family with four kids, so I wonder if subconsciously this may have affected us.  For sure we knew we wanted two and then two seemed like too little and just too perfect, you know with one boy and one girl.  We wanted to shake things up a little and bring an extra little piece of joy and happiness into our life and so we tried for #3.  Even before learning about Lexi's heart troubles I had decided that three was enough for me and especially after learning about Lexi's heart I thought three kids was enough for me.  With my older kids I bought a lot of neutral colored baby items so I could use them with both but with Alexa I bought everything girly because I was going to spoil her as she would be my last baby {or so I thought}. We sold/gave away all of our baby items except the crib {she still uses this sometimes as a toddler bed}.  And I told hubby I was ready to embrace the next phase in our lives, just enjoying being with our kids and watching them grow up.  He agreed although I always felt like he still had a longing for another child. But I was firm and very committed to my decision and my "no, we are done" speech.

Then, for some crazy, strange, I don't understand what happened to me moment in time, **I** started craving another baby, longing to pregnant again, having a newborn again.  It was CRAZY.  I was going CRAZY with all my conflicting emotions.  It seemed like everyone was pregnant all around me and I could think of was that I was going to turn 35 next year and my time was running out.  I did not want to have a baby past 35.  But did I really, really want another baby?  Was it really a good decision for our family?  Could I handle, if my new baby was born with CHD or some other health concern?  I felt fit, strong and pretty again after losing those last ten stubborn pounds. Did I really want to put my body through another pregnancy?  Could I care for all my children's physical, emotional and spiritual needs?  Lot's and lot's of heavy questions.  The truth is I knew things would be easier for me/us if we didn't have another baby but I couldn't shake the feeling.  I tried.  I prayed.  I stayed busy.  But this burning desire inside of me was very strong and urgent.  I felt like my time was quickly running out, like I could see the last few grains of sand from the hourglass of my child bearing years coming to an end and this chapter of my life would soon be closed forever. 

Sometimes I wonder if I felt that way because I missed out on Alexa's newborn phase, with her being in the hospital one whole month and all the busyness and worry that came with caring for her those first few months.  Of course I enjoyed and cherished every single moment I spent with her, maybe even more so because of everything she went through, but I also spent a lot of the time in worry.  Or maybe, my crazy thought had nothing to do with this whatsoever.  Maybe it was just a crazy thought or maybe it was meant to be all along.

Either way and no matter what, it is done.  I am pregnant with our fourth child.  All it took was one time of not 'not trying to get pregnant' and that was it.  There was no turning back the hands of time.  We both waited two agonizing weeks to find it out if our lives would be completely changed or if we could go on as normal.  If it didn't happen, I did not want to 'try' again.  I did not want to be pregnant another Arizona summer or past 35 so that would be it.  No more chances.  Case closed.  And I would be ready to move on. 

A first negative test brought a about a twinge of sadness and grieving over what might have been but at the same time a sigh of relief over my 'what was I thinking ~ possible temporary insanity phase'.  I know my hubby was taken very much by surprise by my sudden change of heart of adding to our family but I felt like he was secretly happy about it.  We both shared the same concerns and knew our family would think we were crazy.  But the truth was a small part of us was not ready to kiss the baby years away.  Our older children had grown up so quickly, so we had a longing to experience all those wonderful baby moments again, one last time.  Plus, we enjoyed watching our two older children grow up together since they were only two years apart and so we wanted a sibling for Alexa to also grow up with. 

A few days after our negative pregnancy results we received a positive pregnancy result and then another positive on top of another positive to be positive.  I couldn't believe it!  We were both in shock but happy.  Shock because we originally thought it hadn't happened and then shocked that it seriously just took one time of 'not ~ not trying' and that was it.  I know biology and how stuff works but it seemed so black and white, no time to second guess ourselves, no second chances.  That was it - we had forever altered our family dynamic.  We were excited of the new adventure that awaited us, yet fully aware of the responsibility that came with caring for another child.  We technically never planned to have another baby but this baby was definitely invited into our family and we are glad he accepted the invitation!

So here we are today, almost seven months into my pregnancy and we joyfully anticipate the arrival of our new baby boy!  I already love him but as I feel him kick and move around in my womb, I can hardly wait to meet him, smell him, hold him and kiss his little cheeks and feet and fall head over heels in love with the baby I never knew I always wanted!

What Every Pregnant Woman Should Know and Ask

As a pregnant women we stress over many things during our pregnancy.  We worry about our unborn child.  We take our prenatal vitamins, we change our dietary habits, we worry if the baby kicks too much or not enough, we worry our bellies may be too big or too small for our babies gestational age. We've heard of Down Syndrome, we've heard of Spina Bifida, yet very few, almost none of us have heard of America's #1 birth defect ~ Congenital Heart Defects {CHD}! 

We fell head over heals in love over the sound of our babies heart beat.  And we anxiously await to 'see' our baby for the first time at out 20 week ultrasound appointment.  We blissfully enter our doctors office full of anticipation over the sex of our unborn child or just to meet the little bean on screen.  Yet we are sadly ignorant of very important facts.  Fact that can save our babies life, if we only knew.   

• Congenital heart defects are America’s #1 birth defect. Nearly one of every 125 babies is born with a CHD (almost 1% of all children born each year!).

• Congenital heart defects are the #1 cause of birth defect related deaths. 1 in 3 children who die from a birth defect have a congenital heart defect.

• This year almost 40,000 babies will be born with a congenital heart defect.

• In the U.S. twice as many children die from congenital heart defects each year than from all forms of childhood cancer combined. Yet funding for research of pediatric cancer is 5 times greater.

• From 1993 to 2003 death rates for congenital heart defects have declined by 31% due to advances made through research!

• There is not yet a preventative cure for any type of congenital heart defect.

• Of every dollar the government spends on medical funding only a fraction of a penny is directed toward congenital heart defect research.

So what can you do?


In a recent health article it was stated that most of the time, CHD is overlooked during the 20-week ultra sound. Thankfully, this was not the case in our situation.  And it allowed us needed time to research and prepare.  Yet, I've heard of many stories where parents are completely blindsided by the news their baby has a congenital heart defect.  

Dr. Nina Gotteiner, a fetal/pediatric cardiologist at Chicago's Children's Memorial Hospital provides imperative information and a list of proactive questions that every expecting parent should know. She says: "By asking these questions, expecting parents and their doctor can proactively identify heart issues before birth, and as a team, work together to prepare for any potential heart issues that may arise after birth."  Here are the recommendations:


 Top five questions expecting parents should ask their doctor during the 20-week ultrasound exam:


1.Do you see 4 chambers?


2.Do you look at the arteries or outflow tracks as part of your scan? *Note: Extremely important to focus on artery views. CHD often missed if only a standard “chamber view” is performed.


3.Are the heart and stomach in correct positions? Both organs should lay on the left side of the fetus.


4.Is the heart rate normal? Is the heart rate too slow (less than 100 beats per minute), too fast (over 200 beats per minute), or irregular? *Note: A normal heart rate range for a fetus is 120-180 beats per minute.


5.Is the heart function normal? Does the muscle work normally? Is everything hooked-up correctly?


Unfortunately, some heart defects go undetected at birth and newborns leave the hospital with a life threatening condition. Often times it remains undetected until it is too late and an infant is in heart failure or worse.  You can read about Cora's Story a beautiful newborn baby girl who passed away in her mother's arms while breastfeeding due to an undiagnosed heart defect. Yet, a simple, painless and affordable test called Pulse Oximetry Screening performed on a newborn hours after birth could have saved her life.

A normal blood oxygen reading is somewhere between 97 – 100%, however within the first 24 hours of life these levels may vary considerably, therefore some physicians believe the test should not be performed until the baby is at least 24 hours old to remove the likelihood of an inaccurate reading. And although, not all forms of CHD can be detected through pulse oxymetry check, it is a step in the right direction.

CHD is real.  It can affect any of our children and come into our life when we least expect.  I was blisffuly unaware of these important facts until CHD rocked my world.  But knowledge is power.  Ask the right questions and be an advocate for your babies health.       

Petunia and I

I feel bad because I have yet to buy much for this baby.  I've bought him just a few onesies and a nice swing on craigslist and that's about it.  I've been looking for a cute coming home outfit but have yet to find 'the one'. 

Today, however, I happened about a diaper bag that I just could not pass up.  Lately I've been pretty frugal, questioning my purchases, trying to find reasonable more wallet friendly solutions to things I would like to buy.  BUT today I just couldn't resist!

Ever since a few years back, way back before I had Alexa I had seen a mom carrying a Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag and I thought it was the cutest thing I had ever seen.  It almost made we want to have another baby just so I could purchase this diaper bag.  After I got pregnant with Alexa I remembered about this little 'want' I had, however, I found another much more reasonable yet still super cute diaper bag by Timi and Leslie, so I went with it ... and I was happy.  That diaper bag is still in very good condition but very girly so I decided I can't do that to my son in public.  Which lead me to today. 

Browsing innocently at Marshall's I discovered this bag.  And all of my previous love/lust for this bag came rushing back.  I reasoned with myself that my diaper bag would soon be replacing my hand bag so it being cute and stylish was sure to bring me some joy and cheer to all the diaper changing duties I would soon be performing.  Plus at a great price - I looked on line and they are about $150 dollars I got mine for $65.  Plus mine came with the stroller attachments, which cost an extra $20.  So that's over $100 savings!   Woo hoo!  So now I'm very much looking forward to using my new bag with my new baby and fulfilling this little secret desire of mine.   Do you have a favorite diaper bag or something you give yourself permission to splurge on?